It occurred to me recently that I haven't updated this blog in quite a while. After having several posts about Subjects of Cultural Interest, it felt silly to go back to posts about "this is what's going on in my writing!" But the big essay-like posts take a while to put together, so it looks in the meantime like this blog is dead. Given that I no longer have a Twitter or anything to replace it, since it was so damaging to my mental health, this is my only means of communicating what's going on, isn't it?
The most immediately relevant point is that I do, in fact, have two! blog posts in the works. One is about The Tale of Genji. I actually finished that book months ago, but it was so long and life-changing that it's taken quite some time to put together some thoughts about it. That one's being edited, and I'm realizing that I might have to add even more to that 6k word monstrosity. To be fair, why should I have to be concise about one of the longest works of literature someone can read?
I'm also planning a post about my recently completed project of listening to the top-rated albums from every country according to Rate Your Music dot Com. It took me about a year, but I listened to 233 top albums! It was a cool experience, and the good news is that a vast majority of this music was excellent. I still have to double-check my giant spreadsheet, mess around with some data, review some of the music, then write a very long blog post about the experience, including songs from all the best albums (there were so many!).
I'm also still planning to post more about my worldbuilding, specifically my fun fantasy locations...but I've been stuck on one last location and haven't even drawn it yet. So that'll take a while.
Of course, because I approach all things writing with the maximum amount of neurosis, I often put aside the "frivolous" activity of writing blog posts in favor of writing things that are more "immediate" to my "writing career." Which is part of why this blog hardly ever gets updated. The other reason is that I am super mentally ill.
This past November, my story, "Nerves Into Circuits", was published by Heartlines Spec. It's a piece about people with chronic pain piloting mech suits to fight nightmarish sky monsters. At its heart, it was an attempt to capture the way the experience of chronic pain becomes interjections and parentheticals, and how disabled people form community based upon mutual understanding.
I also did NaNoWriMo again and basically didn't tell anyone. To be honest, I was taking on too much what with other things going on in life and succeeded in writing 50k words and in burning myself out for two weeks to a month afterwards. But, in any case, I was working on Book 3 of the series that I've obsessed over for most of my life. I couldn't touch it again until a few months ag, but since then I've been adding a bit here and there. I'm getting to the that takes place in the ultimate setting for high teenage drama. Also I some characters falling in love who should definitely not be doing that. So, it's all going according exactly to plan. Muahahaha.
I also have several short stories out on sub right now. It's slow-going. I have some that are almost ready, they just need a last edit...but in almost all cases it's some sort of really intense edit where I have to get into my feelings or solve some super abstract problem. I haven't had the energy. It's a problem, but I finally managed to at least start turning a 6k word story into a 5k word story.
Also, though it's not a writing thing, it seems to be worth mentioning that I was recently on the radio! Since the summer of 2023, I have been involved with Covid Safe Colorado as a founding member/volunteer coordinator. We're a mutual aid that distributes masks and tests and lends out clean air supplies along Colorado's Front Range. So, for this reason, my friend and collaborator Katrina and I were interviewed by Kelly Drumright for KGNU's Outsources. I honestly never thought I would be on the radio -- I feel famous!
So, other than that and small writing projects (such as reading old journals), my big concern at the moment is figuring out what my Whole Deal is with writing and what to do about it. I've mentioned it in previous posts -- that, in essence, the task of creativity, and especially writing, fills me with feelings of dread, anxiety, even abject fear. It's been getting worse lately for reasons I can't pin down, though perhaps it's just that I'm more anxious overall.
At the moment I don't have many answers. Surely there's some element of perfectionism, also some lingering effects from the Twitter Experience, and obviously a hefty dose of the regular ol' self-loathing. Maybe when I do I can make a deeply personal blog post about it. Then I will be cured, surely. As it is, I suppose I am stuck in the situation of being forced to ford this rough river before I can get anything done.
Then, maybe, I will have some actually fun writing updates to post. Fingers crossed!
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